To Thine Own self

This above all: to thine own self be true,
and it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!

From Hamlet by William Shakespeare
Act 1 Scene 3

Fall has always been my favorite season. It is the time of year when the heat of summer turns into the cool breezes of shorter autumn days. It is the time when green leaves paint the earth with deep, rich hues of browns, reds, gold and purples. It is what I like to call the earth's moment of calm...the balance between the extreme heat of summer and the bitter cold of winter. As Fall approaches, I have made a promise to enjoy this season. I want to take walks in the park and late night strolls on the beach. I want to go to outdoor poetry readings and jazz concerts on the lawn. Sounds romantic doesn't it?

But unlike the falls’ before, I won't be waiting with bated breath for an invite to a stroll through the park or an outside concert on the lake. I plan to enjoy this year's romantic autumn dating the one person who most needs and desires my company and full attention.  I'll be cuddling up this fall with myself.
Now some may disagree and feel I am wasting a beautiful season by spending it alone, but I beg to differ.

The best way to truly open up to love and romance is to first be in love with yourself. I used to think the idea of dating myself was ridiculous and a waste of time, and honesty downright sad, but with age and experience, we obtain wisdom. A great epiphany or as Oprah calls it an "ah ha" moment hit me a few weeks ago. How can I expect anyone to love me and want to be with me if I cannot stand to be with myself?

Seasons in our lives change and personally speaking, the person I was 2 years, even two months ago is different than now. My views, aspirations and even desires are renewed, redirected and invigorated.  I need time to learn “Me” again... I need time to focus on the restoration of my spirit, the healing and reshaping of my body and the renewal of my mind and focus. I need space to spread my wings and fly.

You cannot be part of a union if you are not already whole. You cannot recognize your soul mate until you are intimately connected to your own soul. You have to know yourself and know your worth. Sometimes getting to that place requires a season of change and growth and then a season to live comfortably in and with those changes.

Being alone and being lonely are two different experiences. Choosing to spend time in personal reflection and devoting time to you to prepare yourself for the road ahead is not only healthy, it is necessary. True love and romance starts from a place of inner peace and the willingness to be open to another human being. How can you offer yourself to someone and you have no idea what you are giving to them. Knowing who you are and knowing what you truly want and need comes from a soul searching that can only be found in moments of solitude.

So this fall as the temperature cools and the leaves begin to change colors, take a moment to find a place where you can focus on “Self”. Have a cup of coffee or a walk on the beach with the one person that knows you better than anyone. Take a moment to speak to that inner woman or man that has been craving your attention. Whether you are single and seeking or married and satisfied, your relationships will grow and become even better when you nurture the ability to love yourself and in turn share that love with others