Do You Want to Survive?

October is Breast Cancer awareness, Diabetes Awareness, Lupus Awareness and so many other worthy causes. For me, October is about Domestic Violence, a cause which is near and dear to my heart. Domestic Violence consists of secret attacks, silent tears, and isolation from the victim's family. The constant question on the victim’s mind is, “What did I do wrong to make my partner hit, scream, yell out my name and speak to me in a way that breaks my soul and my spirit?” 

At some point in some of our lives, we have met a man or a woman who faces this harsh reality. Victims live in fear every day, every moment without an escape that  sometimes leads to their death. Their attackers can be our friends, our brothers, our sisters or any respected person in the community.  We never know what a person is experiencing behind closed doors.

My heart is broken into pieces every time I hear a story about domestic violence. Tears fall from my eyes. I struggle with breathing. This violence hits home for me. My story of Domestic violence is about my mother. My mother was the most powerful woman I had ever met. She was beautiful, strong, and courageous.  She was Super Hero strong. People in our neighborhood feared my mother. She didn't hesitate to fight for her sisters.  She was fearless in her responsibility of their protection.  My mother’s name created fear among the neighborhood bullies. "Oh you messing with Sharon's little sisters?”  The biggest and worst bullies ran away with their tails between their legs when my mom arrived on the scene. I wish I could say I saw the same fearless woman when it came to the men she loved in her life. I recall two men, particularly one of which I think was my father. I believe it was the look my mother gave me when she looked at me. I knew she loved me but I think it was hard for to show me because I look so much like my father.  I was a constant reminder of the hell and torment she endured from him. It had to be a difficult task to raise a child from a man who couldn't love you without a punch. Later in life, my mother married this other man, I don't care to use his name because it's irrelevant. I knew he hit her; she was very light skinned with green hazel eyes, dark curly hair. She wore bruises like she had been in the boxing ring sparing with a heavy-weight boxer. I am not sure how often this occurred because by the time Mr. Wrong came along, I was out of the house. I do remember my brother being in trouble for kicking the guy’s a$$.  I know I am supposed to be against violence but pay back felt good. I am still a work in progress as many of us are. 

Domestic violence can break you or even if worse, kill you. However, YOU CAN CHOSE TO SURVIVE! I made the decision to thrive. I am not victim of my past.  I decided to share my testimony in hopes of freeing myself and others like me. I decide to break chains, so my children would not be subject to abuse or become abusers. I have given them all the tools they need to know the difference between real love and abuse. My prayer to GOD is that they use them. Love doesn't hurt, doesn't give pain, doesn't take your last breath, stop your heart, or kill your soul.  If you have fear of the person you love and need help leaving the situation, please do not hesitate to call the Domestic Violence Hotline.  The number is GA is 1-800-33-HAVEN

Shakirah "That Chic" McQueen