Many Shades of Jay

Birthday Reflections 

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!  

This post does include an affialate link for Crazy Love by Francis Chan. The book was life changing for me. 

On this day, all I can think about is how truly blessed I really am.  Last year on my birthday, I was heartbroken.  I wanted to be with the love of my life.  Unfortornutley that didn't happen.  At the time, I didn't understand everything.  With time, I came to see things in a clearer picture.  Last year I wrote an post empting out my truth.  I was vulnerable. I release my heart and pain on paper.  I don't regret releasing my pain. It was the beginning of a beautiful journey.

Read Bouncing Back From Rejection Here 

What a Difference a Year Makes 

God used that painful experience to help progress me into a entrepreneur, a leader, and a teacher.  I've gained so much confidence since that time.  I have a line of t-shirts, PSC the blog is blossiming, I teach spiritual enrichment classes at church, and I put out new fiction work.  I'm a Grown Woman. 

Lessons Learned 

I learned some valuable lessons from my time with the love of my life. I will always be grateful for my time with him. He is truly one of the best people I know.  Here are the lessons, I learned:

He made me tough!  I mean my time with him taught me how to fight for my life. He came back into my life during a time when my mind was chaotic. He gave me order and structure. I couldn't see at the time but his way of thinking isn't so bad.

an affialate link to purchase
http://amzn.to/1Cr7WRh

PTSD/Depression is a real thing. I didn't recognize it at the time, but he was dealing with his own issues which had nothing to do with me. I am not making an excuse for his behavior. What he said was very hurtful. God just opened my mind and heart to see him from a different perspective. When I realized he has seen and done things I may never understand, I soften my heart towards him.  It allowed me the opportunity to truly forgive. Loving someone with PTSD/Depression or any other illness takes patience. Patience was something I was lacking at the time.  

Love is about being selfless- I read Crazy Love by Francis Chan. The whole book is about being selfless. Love is not selfish nor does it holds records of wrong doing.  I as reread my post from last year, I made the whole situation about me. I was hurt. He hurt me. Not once did I consider his feelings.  

Joy is better than Happiness- The JOY of the Lord is my strength. I learned to be grateful and joyful despite my circumstances.  I stop letting my situations dictate my feelings. I stopped living my life being tossed around by my emotions. I started to live by principles. I intentionally became Joyful. 

As I write this, I am excited about my day. I'm grateful for this past year.  I love me. I love God. That's all that matters to me.