Does Love Hurt? Addressing Domestic Violence Among Teens
With so much violence going on in the news this week, I decided to throwback to a previous post written by yours truly. Please be in prayer for all the women who have lost their lives by the hand of love one.
Does Love Hurt?
I remember when I was about 15 years old, I received a phone call at my house that one of my good friends had been rushed to the hospital. He had been cut by a glass because he and his then girlfriend gotten into a fight. I would say I was shocked, but I wasn't stunned. Well, I was upset about them actually fighting but not about the arguments. I had been around them before and seen them argue. I've even seen his girlfriend get upset and push his face. I guess my friend got fed up with his girlfriends’ outburst and did something about it. I didn't agree with either persons’ tactics on how they handle emotional issues then or now. This is not the messed up part of the night. When my brother and I arrived at the ER, we learned one of his friends was stabbed in the heart by his girlfriend in another emotional roller coaster incident. My brother’s friend succumbed to his injuries that same night. People's lives were changed forever that night.
I’m sharing this story for Domestic Violence Awareness. Whether it is directly or indirectly, everyone has been affected by Domestic Violence. Although I have never been physically involved in DV, my life views were shaped in that moment. As a 15-year-old, seeing my friends’ blood on each other, hearing the news of someone dying because of an emotional outburst getting out of hand changed me. I made up my mind that I would never be with someone who I was mad enough to hit or had the desire to kill. Wow, we were so young. We thought we knew everything. In reality, we didn't know anything. I don’t believe my friend woke up that morning thinking he was going to fight his girlfriend. I don’t believe the other young lady said she was going to stab her man in the heart. I think it was emotions that went wild and rage took over for a moment. A sad moment which one person didn’t come back from.
Incidents like this happen every day among teenagers. You would be amazed at how many young girls don’t know the signs of domestic violence. They think his jealousy is cute and a sign of affection. Many of our sons are being abused just like my friend was by his girlfriend. They don’t talk about it because what testosterone filled 15-year-old wants people to know he is getting hit by his girlfriend? The craziest thing with my friends situation was neither sets of parents knew what was going on until that night at the ER. I encourage parents, aunts, uncles, and mentors to talk about this subject especially when they don’t want to hear it. A conversation could save their lives.
SMH…
stats of teen dating violence
· Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year.
· One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.
· One in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
· One-quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse.
· Approximately 70% of college students say they have been sexually coerced.
For more information on Domestic Violence among Teenagers check out http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teen_dating_violence.html
[1] 1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Physical Dating Violence Among High School Students – United States,
2003,” Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, May 19, 2006, Vol. 55, No. 19.
2. Davis, Antoinette, MPH. 2008. Interpersonal and Physical Dating Violence among Teens. The National Council on
Crime and Delinquency Focus. Available at
http://www.nccdrc.org/nccd/pubs/Dating%20Violence%20Among%20Teens.pdf.
3. Grunbaum JA, Kann L, Kinchen S, et al. 2004. Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance --- United States, 2003. Morbidity and
Mortality Weekly Report. 53(SS02);1-96. Available at http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss5302a1.htm.
4. Schoen, C. et al., The Commonwealth Fund Survey for the Health of Adolescent Girls, November 1997.
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